Sole Mates

The one word that has never been used to describe me is "child-friendly." This is mostly due in part to my having no idea whatsoever to do with a child. Do I pet it? Give it carrot? Should I take it on a walk? No clue. I'm better with animals - they eat, they sleep, they play in the yard. And none of that requires much effort on my part.

Plus, they have fur, and who doesn't wanna snuggle with that? ...I think centuries of stuffed bears answers that.


Unfortunately, there are very few people on the planet who understand me in this regard. As soon as I say I'm not having kids, I'm told (by complete strangers, mind you)...

"You'll change your mind."

Really? That's a bit rudely presumptuous of you, don't you think? I'm not telling you...

"One day you'll drop these little brats in the woods in hopes of them finding a gingerbread house."

No, I'm not. I should, but I'm not.

So, when I find another human being who has an aversion to children like myself, I can't help but fall in love on the spot. Which is why I'm friends with these people...
FASHIONISTA FRIEDA
I don't like children.

MODEL MICHAEL (laughing)
But you have a child!

FASHIONISTA FRIEDA
I don't like miscellaneous children.

MODEL MANDY (piping in)
Oh, I love kids!

FASHIONISTA FRIEDA
That's your vice. I love shoes.



"All we care about is
runway models,
Cadillacs,
and liquor bottles."

-Lady Gaga-
"The Fame"



~LAUREN~
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