tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24179183685033205092012-02-06T13:03:32.743-05:00...I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you?Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.comBlogger601100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-37409025942492257322012-01-18T17:50:00.031-05:002012-01-20T15:32:45.540-05:00

It's been a while since something out of the ordinary has happened to me. But by the following reaction by Holly, maybe the "extraordinary" is becoming quite ordinary to me...HOLLY (text)You get more wildlife in your house.LAUREN (text)It's starting to feel like Jumanji.My menagerie has grown to three felines that, after this latest surreal encounter, I now affectionately call The Pussy Posse. I

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-47472817509502964442011-09-01T13:21:00.008-04:002012-01-20T15:32:55.582-05:00

I loathe idle chit-chat.I feel people who talk just for the sake of talking should be punched in the throat. If you can't be funny or enthusiastic or vibrantly amusing in some way, it's best just to keep all the superfluous words in your mouth.Discreetly, Lauren bypasses the coffee machine and starts filling up her tea cup with boiling hot water. Since, boiling water can be used as a weapon, one

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-90192418015668686622010-10-30T10:39:00.013-04:002012-01-28T11:59:26.173-05:00

People are funny.I'm baffled by churches who preach about a mean and vengeful God... mostly, because I can't imagine God being able to throw down a bolt of lightning without laughing! I just picture him winding up for the pitch and then doubling over in laughter screaming, "I'm sorry! I just can't keep a straight face!"So, yeah...I'm convinced God has a sense of humor. Take the guy sitting at the

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-77066952548133564042010-10-26T16:36:00.008-04:002012-01-28T11:58:59.639-05:00

LAUREN (via text)OMG! I ate at McD's and it gave me an anxiety attack and now my back hurts! It's worse than a Hot Pocket!HOLLY (via text)Ahaha! That's what you get for eating mechanically separated chicken parts.LAURENDefinitely, so true! I think the beak is stabbing my kidney."They recently invented the breakfast hot pocket, FINALLY. I can’t think of a better way to start the day; Good morning

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-21773775716141473942010-10-01T18:56:00.019-04:002012-01-28T11:57:11.192-05:00

I love baseball! The game, the players, the stats, the rally caps, the 7th inning stretch, the perfect seats down the 3rd base line, the friends, the family, the hot dogs, the souvenir cups...America's Pastime. Some might call it obsession, but to my ballpark comrades, my enthusiasm is met with a round of high-fives and everyone's best Bob Uecker impression.The thing about baseball is that all

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-37947305662590304322010-06-18T14:51:00.017-04:002012-01-28T12:01:29.066-05:00

LAUREN (via text)Girl on FB just said she hated Frosties...what kind of a freak hates Frosties?! I even like the NAME Frosty!HOLLY (via text)It's freaking delicious. She's a weirdo.LAURENShe should be deported. :-)HOLLYWord! It's like saying you don't like American Eagle.LAURENLOL! ...uh, I don't like Amer Eagle ...Plz don't deport me! HOLLYI meant an American Bald Eagle..hahaLAUREN That's

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-60571687793351994282010-06-15T11:44:00.020-04:002012-01-28T12:05:21.454-05:00

Just like guys have their Wing-Men, chicks have their Go-To Girls. We do it for safety, to be supportive, and many times to avoid boredom. Unfortunately, this is what led toThe Most Uncomfortable Moment in My Life...You see, my friend Awkward Allison wanted to hang out with her crush, Smooth Sam, and his Anything But Smooth Roommate. Roomie had spent the previous 3 years trying to get me to go

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-71391151961832146822010-06-14T11:50:00.031-04:002012-01-28T12:03:22.515-05:00

Growing up at our house, we learned early on that you have to laugh at yourself...or someone else was gonna do it for you!Many a knee-slap has been had discussing 8-year old Lauren's fashion sense (or lack there of) involving long nightgowns and belts. Then there's the tear-inducing story of 7-year old Holly and her omnipresent cow-lick. Not to be outdone, Puppy Princess, the other Jordan sister,

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-20615722666410707262010-06-03T12:58:00.027-04:002012-01-28T12:05:48.007-05:00

I'm fascinated by men! What they do, what they think...what they think women think. It's all very interesting in a 2001-Space Odyssey-oh-my-god-it's-full-of-stars kind of way. I love them!Maybe it's because I'm jealous boys have an inherent understanding of the rules of football, how a manual transmission works, and the strength to wrestle an alligator when I'd settle for being able to open my

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-15424902452375118542010-03-23T17:17:00.011-04:002012-01-28T12:06:59.328-05:00

Captain's Log, Stardate 63656.8I've been called to attend a memorial service in another solar system. To avoid any potential damage to the U.S.S. Enterprise, I've decided to rent another starship for the journey. Although not mentioned in most leadership books, the first rule of a successful captain is to “situate oneself so that responsibility and blame can be placed elsewhere”...Intergalactic

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-91884039525056755762010-01-29T14:35:00.009-05:002012-01-28T12:07:24.403-05:00

One would think that as time rolls on, one would become MORE tolerant...One would be wrong. As time rolls on, I become LESS tolerant...especially in the areas of stupidity. That's why when I hear comments like the following, I'm glad that my limited knowledge of the penal system comes from television rather than real life...DUMMY'S FRIENDI've been trying to keep Dummy out of jail. That's a

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-21084211242065379712009-12-30T10:03:00.012-05:002012-01-28T12:07:52.676-05:00

As 2009 comes to an end and we embark on, what is sure to be a magnificently wild ride for 2010, we here at "Um...Okay" would like to thank all our readers for allowing us to share our crazy stories! I recently received an email about this blog, not only praising it for its humor, but also remarking how we're a prime example of how there's always something to laugh at...if only you take the time

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-84139063054982440922009-12-28T16:28:00.020-05:002012-01-28T12:09:16.765-05:00

I know some people think of the holidays and immediately reach for a cocktail of sedatives to suppress all the issues they've been burying for the last twelve months. Or to ensure they don't choke their pervy Uncle or drop-kick Grandma's chihuahua, they start calculating their Beer Bracket.Beer Bracket [beer] [brak-it]: A range of alcohol that one can consume. The minimum allows the consumer to

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-22822377129759158422009-12-14T09:17:00.017-05:002012-01-28T12:09:48.269-05:00

You know those city girls who decide to take a road trip to the country for the holidays 'cause they think it'll be fun, but instead end up getting lost because their sense of direction comes from a talking box sitting on the dashboard of a rental car, but don't want to call for directions because deep down they feel if they keep going they'll eventually find it because, in the words of Aerosmith

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-56917876905019232882009-11-24T17:57:00.018-05:002012-01-28T12:10:39.528-05:00

"Everyday holds the possibility of a miracle."-Elizabeth David-God knows I could use a miracle...because that's what it's gonna take for me to have a normal experience at the Dollar General!I mean, did I miss the sign? In my haste to get some Cheez-Its and a Coke, did I run right past the giant sign that said, "Vagrants, Invalids, Perverts, and all other disgusting people WELCOME!" Because if I

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-40308556190142249692009-11-07T16:01:00.017-05:002012-01-28T12:11:12.831-05:00

Once upon a time, before I made the wicked crazy move to Nashville, I had a whirlwind night there with a friend that...made a lasting impression, let's say.You see, I was new to the music scene, and fortunately for me, I had a drummer offer to take me under his wing to teach me the skills of a working musician. One day he was headed to Nash-Vegas to score some gigs for his band and asked if I

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-59032722596028215962009-11-03T16:55:00.010-05:002012-01-28T12:11:50.887-05:00

Generally speaking, laughing in someone's face is considered a faux pas. This societal norm has left me with many a conundrum: Enjoy the all-encompassing gift of laughter whilst belittling my fellow man OR suppress the urge and risk a trip to the E.R. because my sinuses disagree with the "Always Coca-Cola" mantra?See? Not so easy to answer, is it?In high school, I, like Holly, worked as a cashier

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-53647765170202617422009-09-05T10:42:00.009-04:002012-01-28T12:13:06.651-05:00

Of all the things that I love about the industry that I work in, it is definitely the people that I love the most. There is never a shortage of interesting, strange or eccentric people that I am surrounded by all the time. The first show I ever worked on, I realized that for the first time in my entire life I didn't feel like the lone weirdo. Quite the opposite actually, I felt that I had found

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-14313345294977923892009-09-02T15:59:00.013-04:002012-01-28T12:13:35.531-05:00

If you've read even a little bit of this blog, it's rather evident that I'm a HUGE fan of “House, MD.” One of the many things that draws me to the show, is my ability to relate to the good doctor on the I'm-Surrounded-By-Idiots Level.However...I have idiotic moments of my own:Eagerly anticipating the new teen flick, Lauren and her movie buddy race to the concessions counter for the sugary

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-78196371001466804622009-08-30T15:33:00.014-04:002012-01-28T12:14:02.787-05:00

They say there is no such thing as a free lunch but when you work on movies/television, there is. You would think that having all of your meals taken care of, there would obviously be no complaints, but oh how I wish that were true. I'm the person who gets to pick the place, take the orders and go and get it everyday and I truly don't mind it's just part of the job, but everyday it is a battle

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-34753430999742071312009-08-22T15:46:00.011-04:002012-01-28T12:14:30.336-05:00

Hello All!I apologize for my lengthy absence, working long hours for months and months with two back-to-back productions unfortunately leaves little weekend brain power for blogging. So dry those tears, open a bottle of champagne, it's time to celebrate because I'm back woot woot.So, I don't know how many of you have ever heard the term 'pickup artist' but if you have seen the VH1 show with the

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-15347857312378568282009-08-21T16:56:00.023-04:002012-01-28T12:15:29.231-05:00

Today, I was daydreaming about being in Barbados. I had a glorious mansion where Mai Tais were being served by the bartender, an elegant feast was being prepared by the chef, and all my friends were smiling and laughing with delight! And I was running down the beach in my navy bikini, wind blowing back my hair, the sun showering me with its warm love, and the ocean waves spritzing me with aquatic

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-65941115570127211292009-08-18T12:42:00.017-04:002012-01-28T12:16:34.389-05:00

Dear Holly,I went to the Dollar General today to buy myself some snacks, when I came upon a sale table that made me want to buy you a gift. I know what you're thinking, "High-quality items at an already discounted price?" I thought I was dreaming, too.However, I had difficulty choosing between "The Bible MP3 CD" and the travel-size pack of Lubricated Condoms. (I briefly considered the "Tropical

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-73407787371045617252009-08-13T12:24:00.013-04:002012-01-28T12:17:15.512-05:00

I've never been much of a drinker. Probably because I have two states of drunkenness: "Stone Cold Sober" and "Lord, Please Kill Me." Sadly, it took me a bit of time to discover this.Thankfully, I had friends looking out for me along the way...After an arduous work week of my not really knowing what I was doing, working with clients I'd been told could be very scary, and dealing with technology

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-30750439936029076032009-07-29T16:15:00.014-04:002012-01-28T12:17:37.484-05:00

Yet another saga starring Lauren the Happy Hostess...Once upon a time, Lauren walked through the hallowed doorway of her favorite restaurant hoping to secure a highly sought after and financially rewarding position. Personally knowing one of the current employees, in addition to having obvious enthusiasm for the company, Lauren entered the interview process with complete confidence! Twenty

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-37985194413402428652009-07-15T13:19:00.023-04:002012-01-28T12:18:03.431-05:00

I think every company has a Magical Employee. What is that? Glad you asked:Magical Employee [maj-i-kuhl] /ɛmˈplɔɪi, ɛmplɔɪˈi, ˌɛmplɔɪˈi/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [em-ploi-ee]: a character who disappears from the workplace without any obvious reason, only to reappear without any obvious consequence.Allow me to illustrate with this recent overheard conversation...SKEPTICAL WIZARDHas anyone

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-42478721445975249752009-06-28T20:45:00.031-04:002012-01-29T17:04:08.254-05:00

When they were backstage jamming to Russell’s solo, I was there. When they were running around the Continental Hyatt House, I was there. And when they were singing on the bus, I was totally there! But when Penny got sold to Humble Pie for fifty bucks and a case a beer, I wanted to throw my coke at the screen! I loved Almost Famous, but that part was a little too real…and it started a trend.What

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-90097671748149640732009-06-24T18:16:00.015-04:002012-01-29T17:03:37.395-05:00

I have a pretty active imagination, as do most of the people around me. And if they don't, they soon will...I was looking forward to a chill evening of dinner and a movie with my friend, Bonnie Bad-Ass. But when I arrived at her house, she mentioned she was worried about another friend of ours, Moping Molly.You see, Moping Molly lived in a creepy house, on a creepy street, in a creepy

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-18032673502213740432009-06-16T17:18:00.013-04:002009-06-16T17:45:56.920-04:00

My father loved practical jokes. The more people he could affect, the better he liked it. Dad worked with his brothers, so he really loved it if he could involve them...There was a man coming in from out of town that was to join their company. My father thought it would be a great opportunity to initiate the new guy while driving his brother crazy.He promptly sat down and wrote the prospective

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-76033913477875506982009-06-04T15:17:00.021-04:002012-01-29T17:03:01.639-05:00

Rachel: So, why don't you guys just turn it off?Chandler: 'Cause then we'd be The Guys Who Turned Off Free Porn.-Friends-"The One With The Free Porn"One summer, I made a pact with a friend:If the two of us were traveling together and we saw an active sprinkler system, we had to pull over and run through it. I didn't matter where we were going or what we were doing.I think this came about because

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-11928540713539229322009-05-25T13:12:00.015-04:002012-01-29T17:02:24.526-05:00

I thought I would celebrate Memorial Day by being obscenely self-absorbed: manicure, pedicure, new 'do, new clothes, take-out, and a good movie with some scented candles for ambience.What I didn't aniticipate was being snapped out of my narcissism with a funny comment from the drugstore clerk...CLERK You look familiar. Did you go to Main Street High? LAUREN No, I'm not from here.CLERKOh...I

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-35456119569455423902009-05-16T16:11:00.026-04:002012-01-29T17:01:48.458-05:00

Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. ~ George CarlinWith all the sun, the rain, then more sun, then MORE rain, I'm starting to feel like I'm on the Truman Show. If a studio light falls on my head I'll break into a fit of hysterics...once I regain consciousness, of course!This all reminded me of a graphics gig I had in ...Atlanta? ..

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-76306279058981848002009-05-07T15:18:00.013-04:002012-01-29T17:01:22.231-05:00

Years ago, I descended into the bowels of the Chicago O’Hare Airport to what was euphemistically called “The Delta Pilot’s Lounge. This space consisted of two tables a few straight back chairs and some old loungers that promised to give the sitter an incurable disease or a broken limb. This scene was flanked by a number of drink, candy, and sandwich machines on the wall. The drink machines were

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-81538079514509189812009-04-29T13:47:00.013-04:002012-01-29T16:59:50.712-05:00

For my friend's 21st birthday, she wanted to celebrate at a dance club. We decided on a real swanky place called...BAR. (That's right. Only the finest, folks!)The Plan: get off work, meet at my house, leave from there, party 'till dawn!The Glitch: my friend was 9 months older than me.The Solution: more lipstick, taller shoes, and with any luck at all, I'd look a little older....turns out the plan

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-29803844906912023252009-04-29T08:49:00.012-04:002012-01-29T16:59:16.081-05:00

A few years back, I got to reflecting on some of the pre-career jobs I'd had, and wondered how I'd managed to work with such a high number of perverts. I had never been a stripper, a porn star, or had any other risque occupation that would seem to attract this type of behavior.So how had I managed this feat?Then, it occurred to me that the only common denominator here was...well, me. Clearly,

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-15450342793202060322009-04-20T17:23:00.042-04:002012-01-29T16:58:45.831-05:00

As spiritual beings having a human experience, many of us seek meaning....enlightenment...a higher consciousness, if you will. Some people read books, some find a guru, and some start drinking herbal tea.....Then there are those who find a CAUSE.A few years ago, I angered a hippie in Denver. He had a video camera and was recording a group of about 30 cyclists riding through downtown. I tilted my

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-35858970955399031042009-04-04T12:32:00.048-04:002012-01-29T16:57:59.620-05:00

"It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what." -House, MD.-"Three Stories" You've probably no doubt that doctors have to filter lies. I'm sure you'll agree that IRS agents have heard it all. And I think we can all imagine that lawyers and politicians view the truth like "Where's Waldo?" - now that it's found, does it even matter anymore? But I

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-27493601994137887992009-04-02T09:11:00.039-04:002012-01-29T16:52:11.816-05:00

I have two cats named Windsor and Tabitha. They're brother and sister. When I adopted them, they were 6 weeks old. Two years later, they've miraculously adjusted to a life of napping by the pool, prowling through the forest, and eating leftover barbeque.This past Christmas, I heard Windsor make an unusual cry at the door that made me fear he might be injured. Opening the door, he runs in so I

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-76852822170787561662009-04-01T09:22:00.007-04:002012-01-29T16:51:46.404-05:00

Whenever I encounter those who are rude or painfully stupid, despite my best efforts to hide this opinion, my face has other plans. I've tried the usual solutions: prayer, meditation, sedatives. I've even read self-help books ranging from "How to Keep the Hater on the Inside" to "Botox for Dummies"...and apparently to no avail.One evening while living in Nashville, Holly and I went to our

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-16261393895772124912009-03-31T17:40:00.010-04:002012-01-29T16:50:59.861-05:00

With the warm weather taunting me, I felt it was time to switch to my "summer hair color." I also had a wild hair (so to speak) to dye my eyebrows as well...My results were spectacularly hilarious! I don't think it colored my eyebrow "hair" so much as my eyebrow "skin." Naturally, I had to text Holly, telling her I looked like a genie.She texted back, "Like Alladin genie because his hair was blue

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-65490429842404995652009-03-26T14:36:00.017-04:002012-01-29T16:50:23.055-05:00

The people who waltz through my life usually do so because they amuse me. This guy was no exception...Gavin Guitar Hero sits next to me on a couch and says,"James asked if you were single, but I told him not to bother."Not that I cared because James was younger than me and when he found out, asked me to buy him cigarettes, but I had to ask, "Why?"Gavin Guitar Hero says,"I told him it's because

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-4316320568658403252009-03-26T14:10:00.016-04:002012-01-29T16:48:18.620-05:00

I love foreign cultures! After watching Bridget Marquardt eat Vegemite and pet a koala in Australia on Bridget's Sexiest Beaches, I wanted to tear through my house like the Tazmanian Devil in search of my passport. But after seeing Anthony Bourdain eat bugs in the jungle on No Reservations, I was happy to be lounging on my couch with warm cookies and my non-poisonous tabby cat.The Travel Channel

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-51099943169758350222009-03-26T11:13:00.008-04:002012-01-29T16:47:44.547-05:00

One of my more memorable pre-career jobs was working at a car wash as the cashier. This was a very nice car wash, anything imaginable you could get done to your car you could, the whole she bang. Aside from the fact that I stood on my feet for a straight 10 hours every work day, and I got sung 'Car Wash' at least once a day by customers who thought they were being clever, the job was always

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-9163076857128346062009-03-24T11:02:00.017-04:002012-01-29T16:44:30.837-05:00

I'm just gonna take a wild guess and say that most of you have had roommates. Well if you have, and had positive experiences then consider yourself very lucky. I can honestly say that I have had every roommate experience in the book, from the good, the bad and the disgusting.This one particular roommate (we'll call her Stinky) and I started out as friends, Stinky was the on-again, off-again

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-52990031970807395142009-03-22T16:19:00.024-04:002012-01-29T16:43:12.590-05:00

Welcome aboard!For those of you who have never been to the ATL, you're in for an enlightening treat. My name is Lauren and I'll be your travel guide! Let me start by dispelling the ridiculous ideas that Hollywood has ingrained into the brains of all non-Southerners... Myth #1: The South and A/C. We have air conditioning down here...each and everyone of us! In fact, if you eat at a Wendy's in July

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-26780463947619342002009-03-21T17:34:00.014-04:002012-01-29T16:41:50.190-05:00

As a musician you get to meet a lot of interesting characters. Some people have stories that instantly suck you in and keep you on the edge of your seat, some are elaborate liars (as previous posts will verify), but they amuse you just the same, and some people are so unbelievably nice it can bring you to tears....the following story isn't about any of THOSE people.This one particular bar I use

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-1883305942745110962009-03-21T11:11:00.020-04:002012-01-29T16:37:42.283-05:00

First, I want to start out by saying Happy Saturday to everyone, and second I would like to say holy junk it was like Christmas morning sitting in my e-mail when I checked it bright and early, because folks, you just can't make this stuff up.I've been working in film and TV production for almost 2 years now. I love it, it's great, well with SAG threatening to strike for several months now it has

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-76097426519519664752009-03-19T19:17:00.012-04:002012-01-29T16:37:01.116-05:00

So I must start out by sharing the following photo which is so, so sadly 100% real. This photo makes me frown upon the entire education system and just in general. I had very much hoped that this was a localized literary act of stupidity but as photo #2 will attest, it is not. *puts head down and shakes slowly The entire city of Shreveport was out of water a few months back for a whole day due to

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-46696381716572480452009-03-18T11:32:00.016-04:002012-01-29T16:35:29.127-05:00

Like most girls I really enjoy being pampered, and part of the being pampered ritual is getting my nails done. I especially love getting fake fingernails because for a brief shining moment my hands actually look larger than a Hobbit's.Well anyway, a few weeks ago I headed to a new salon that came highly recommended.My nail tech, a very sweet Korean lady named Connie-I'm just gonna assume this is

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-70030093077286392052009-03-18T10:14:00.041-04:002012-01-29T16:33:53.028-05:00

Oh, snap! While I was noshing on some Scooby Snacks and waiting for "My Name Is Earl" to come on, I saw the most hilarious commercial...EVER. I thought it was a joke at first. I kept waiting for the punchline, but nope! It's for real, folks...and it has been added for your viewing pleasure. :-)Check it out:I laughed, I cried, and felt validated all in one moment: No one believed me, but I long

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-41135628953038888242009-03-17T12:43:00.014-04:002012-01-29T16:27:55.825-05:00

I have been doing a lot of spring cleaning recently and while doing this awesome task I came across an old work shirt. Now, this is no ordinary work shirt folks, this is the shirt that I wore while selling gutters, no that is not a typo, yes gutters.I used to harass the public at home shows, fairs, and even the occasional boat show to try and get people to buy these 'high end' aka overpriced

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-84244512250051080092009-03-16T18:42:00.015-04:002012-01-29T16:27:03.715-05:00

So, this morning I had the 8th consecutive guy this week to randomly friend request me on Facebook-yeah yeah to all of you reading this and rolling your eyes, I have a Fbook addiction I'll admit it-anyways...So, realizing that we have no mutual friends, we didn't go to high school or college together and we basically have no way to have ever met I finally message him asking how/if we know one

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-87025833686524740742009-01-05T17:28:00.008-05:002012-01-29T16:23:58.923-05:00

As I've mentioned previously, I used to work in restaurants. And although I imagine Chinese Water Torture as being more tolerable, it did have some funny moments...I'm sure you are all familiar with the ritual of your server telling you the daily specials. Their job is to make it sound like a new dish that's soon to take the culinary world by storm and to describe it with such delectable details

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-25568635543124408022008-12-16T14:23:00.008-05:002012-01-29T16:23:22.091-05:00

Another day, another glorious piece of advice from our dear friend, Eunice at Dollar General! Aside from moonlighting as a Dermatologist and Cosmetologist, Eunice has added another title to her resume...As I handed her the Hershey bar I was eagerly waiting to enjoy, she said, "Now, you know you don't need that candy bar."Um...okay. I'm 5'5" and a buck twelve soaking wet, but apparently, I'm

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-83117957775875194822008-11-13T13:20:00.006-05:002012-01-29T16:22:15.026-05:00

As previous posts will verify, the Dollar General can be a well of entertainment. If it's not the sunburned, barefoot drunk with the prison tats across his beergut acting like he's the King of Dollar General because he's knows the cashier, it's the old woman with Bluejay-feather house-shoes who has decided to prepare for the winter by purchasing everything in the store. I mean, how much Clover

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-78393252435601555842008-09-04T13:59:00.016-04:002012-01-29T16:21:35.251-05:00

I worked as a hostess at several restaurants before I started playing music. The one thing you acquire with this position is mad conversation skills. I could talk to a tree! And as this next transcript will illustrate, sometimes that is the best choice...Our always enthusiastic hostess, LAUREN, is finished with all of her evening sidework. Waiting for the last patrons to leave, she spots the new

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-88928610772585936342008-09-01T22:00:00.010-04:002012-01-29T16:15:01.332-05:00

Soo I've been living in Shreveport, Louisiana for almost a year now and to say the least it has been pretty awesome and interesting all at the same time. One thing that has stood out to me the most is how friendly people are here. So friendly in fact, at times it borders on creepy.The most recent one happened just a couple of weeks ago at the local 'Time It' oil and lube center (and yes I did

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-88758500488117147112008-08-31T17:49:00.012-04:002012-01-29T16:10:08.472-05:00

Friday night, I played an acoustic gig on the patio of a fancy restaurant. As always, I had a blast! Mostly, because of one particular table...They drank, they laughed, they danced. As last call approached, this table decided to hit the road, but not until they coraled everyone. As a result, I got to speak with one of the members of the party. He was hanging his head on the iron spike fence, and

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-73998129441993510482008-08-30T10:55:00.022-04:002012-01-29T16:09:42.366-05:00

The awesome thing about living in a small up-and-coming town is that everybody is really friendly! They are all new to the area, excited about the fresh start, share the goal of making this the best town ever and as a result, are eager to meet people. If you're looking for a good party, trust me when I say: go to a new neighborhood. It'll have all the things you need for fun: booze, crazy stories

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2417918368503320509.post-79985835004896252502008-08-28T12:43:00.021-04:002012-01-29T16:06:16.958-05:00

So this is how it started:I was working in a small office on a historic square where the only other building houses a Dollar General. (There will probably be an entire section of this site dedicated to the Dollar General...and Wal-Mart...but we'll come back to that later.) On my way to the DG for some cookies and a coke, I had to cross a large parking lot. Now, the DG and its sidewalk were about

Lauren Jordan and Holly Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779084153137350495noreply@blogger.com0